The story of a person is told through experience. Each life story is the gathering together of a collection of moments that unfold or explode in a seemingly cacophonous order across time - your personal experiences.
With an incredible number of possible permutations, each life bounces from event to event and caresses a trail across human existence. Every life forges this trail, regardless of the duration or the external impact - every life creates a path. This journey, and the human who is on it, is completely unique. There has never been nor will there ever be a duplication of a human life story. Many lives will be similar. Perhaps, in fact, most lives are very similar when viewed from the drastic distance of time and space. If we zoom way out to see our species from a universal level each tiny life follows a pattern - creation, struggle, reproduction, extinction. The human story repeated innumerably across the course of the species. When viewed up close, however, the unique collection of experiences melded together by each single consciousness is staggeringly divergent to any other. Each little life then expands incredibly to include a universe of personal moments - conception, birth, physical environments, interpersonal associations, choices, cultural interactions, internal and external commitments, experiences. From the point of view where we each perceive our lives the range of detail is vast, personalised and significant. Each life is huge and unique. Those who experience triumph in their lives do so after their own journey to that success. Building upon preceding experiences, to eventually reach success. People who suffer during their existence, face the pain of that experience coloured by the circumstances of the moment and all the moments leading to that discomfort. Suffering exists and is perceived based on the unique events leading up to it. Those that share joy during their life journey perceive the sensation as an element of their personal passage through time. The experience is influenced and informed by many other previous sensations. Each experience, even those shared with others, forms a unique component of an individual and a unique collection of experiences, influenced and understood in the context of its place in a trail of life experiences. The timing, sequence, nature and magnitude of the specific moments each individual encounters are unique, never to be repeated, and exclusive. Only one person can be exposed to the specific unique elements of a life. Only one person can have that experience, and only one person is capable of knowing that value. This realisation seems useful in the context of understanding how to live a valuable life. To inhabit the moments of our life with the active knowledge that the experience occurring right now is genuinely unique, and therefore precious, may help us to find merit in that moment. There is a choice in each experience - either to be in it and perceive, or to escape and discount. Many unpleasant experiences stimulate us to escape and avoid. Mundane experiences tempt us to escape and ignore, or seek distraction in remembering prefered moments of another time. Every time we escape an experience, any chance of insight, realisation or value-creation is lost. That nuanced and unique moment will not happen again. The experiences in each life are singular and precious. Many of them will be difficult and unenjoyable; many will be special. Every experience is an opportunity to find value. Our task may be to remember this even while life is happening. Every moment is unique and precious. Your task is to be there and experience it.
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Steak
There are times at the end of a day that steak sounds like a perfect choice for dinner. A day that has stimulated or expended, tested or rewarded. “Yes, it has been a big day, I feel like a steak”. An opulent feast of warmth and texture, flavour and enjoyment. The steak dinner is an elite meal. Whether prepared at home, in a pub or at a fine restaurant this dinner is fantastic.. (A proviso is required for those who do not eat meat … perhaps an epic cheesy spinach and marinated artichoke pasta fits the metaphorical bill.) Either way, it provides comfort and satisfaction, a kingly dinner. It is however not an easy, uninvolved meal. With a steak you have to work. This is not a single-handed fork-only bowl of noodles, nor an eat-with-your-hands slice of pizza. You can't read a book while you are eating a steak. It requires your faculties …eyes, hands, concentration. Watch what you are doing, choose how much to cut, work around the bone, reflect on the size of each bite. Adjust, enjoy, progress. It is an active and engaging meal that is often multi elemental. Bread roll and potato, veggies and sauce, you can get lost drifting off on a tangent of spreading butter on bread and dipping in pepper sauce … meals within the meal … enticing distractions. The reward does however meet the effort. You have to cut and chew but when you do there is value to be realised. Steak is not for dinner every night. It is though, a sustaining and satisfying meal. Steak for dinner … it makes sense. Friends Talking to my friend Anna is like eating a great steak dinner. You need to pay attention, and you need to do the work. There is plenty on the plate and all of it may be distracting and enjoyable. The side elements are a diverse and engaging support for the main focus, and that main focus can be very satisfying. Think and engage, eschew other distractions in life and be consumed by what is in front of you - a unique and valuable friend. When talking to Anna, a formidable Mental Skills and Ultimate Frisbee coach, there is effort required. An effort which is gladly exerted as the rewards are worth it. Anna often says that she isn’t into small talk, “So how is your life going, Mike Neild?” is a common first sentence after some time apart. A literal first sentence, before things like “Hello”, “Good flight?” or “Would you like a glass of water?” Answering that question is a big first mouthful, and just like an overly ambitious fork load of prime cut, time involving and vigorous jaw work promptly follows. “How is you life going?” Hopefully most people experience similar relationships in their lives. The person who makes us sit down and start chewing the moment you are together. Whether through a synergy of mindset, a long-lasting history of events and intimacy, or fuelled by a near fanatical dislike of small talk this person provides a connection and an opportunity to examine and reflect. These people are valuable and powerful factors in our lives. The special relationships we share deserve a moment of recognition and gratitude. It seems important to recognise and then communicate that gratitude within the relationships we value. Breakfast Some conversations seem organically coupled to associated situations … topics for times of day. Late at night somehow seems to flow with the extended rambling style of discussion based around personal experience. Future focused and possibility filled, we can talk late at night as if anything is possible, as if everything that has happened carries meaning. The early evening holds a connection to opinion-filled robust exchange. Thoughts and ideas crack back and forward, tested and challenged in the energetically charged transition from light to dark. The afternoon can often mesh with laughter-filled story telling and recollection. Mid morning is for business; planning, organising and outlining. Talking the talk before walking some kind of walk. And breakfast time is for drifting up towards life and the day ahead - topical, light spirited and suitably non-taxing. It is nice to flow gently through breakfast and into the day. Perhaps “How is your life going?” might be a little jarring first thing in the morning. In our lives there are exceptions to nearly all attempts at generalisation and classification. When spending time with some special people in our lives it rarely feels like the right time for gentle chatter. With particular people no matter what time of day it is, it is time to talk deeply. It is worth being grateful and maybe even sharing, that with some people it just seems right to have steak for breakfast. Anna can be found asking the big questions at all times of day at walkercoaching.com.au Hello and welcome to a new year. It is difficult not to feel the uplifting touch of potential that comes with this time of year. Potential, possibility, optimism and challenge. Here is an offering to consider as you contemplate the events and challenges of the coming year.
Each human journey is a unique collection of events. Moments that can be as brief as an instant - a single flashing thought or sensation that dissipates immediately. Situations that expand to dominate an era, or potentially define a lifetime. Components stitched together into a story, a life. In order to understand and negotiate this blended pool of events, we use labels and categories to perceive and then organise our interaction with the world. Personally and as a culture, we generate our own language in this endeavour. The terms disaster, success, difficulty and victory describe the outcomes of life events. The labels impossible, desperate, guaranteed and hopeful are utilised to help understand the situations presented in life. We use these terms and labels both to understand life and to communicate with others the nature of the scenarios we encounter. We determine which terms and labels to use based on our perspective of the world, developed through our mental and emotional faculties. Perspective is fluid. Perspective is a wonderfully dynamic and powerful component of every person’s existence. At different times, or with different states of mind, an identical situation, experienced by the same person, can generate wildly varied responses. A house party with a large crowd and loud music can be either a brilliant idea or a complete nuisance - depending on if you are invited. The use of a profane word can be either a bonding and amusing moment between friends, or evidence of a damaged society - based on who said it, and to whom it was said. The death of a loved one might be the manifestation of the worst possible tragedy in life … it could also be a cause for reflection, celebration and gratitude. Perspective is built. Our point of view is created and it is malleable. The opinions and behaviours of friends and family … the series of events that have rumbled through our lives … the cultural norms and tensions of the world around us, all add their weight in determining individual perspective. In some cases we are aware of this process, at other times the veil of consciousness hides the elements that mix to create our point of view. If we believe that our opinion, our attitude, our point of view, our perspective has been steadily generated and constantly modified by our movement through life, then it is easy to believe both that it will continue to change, and that we are able to influence that change. Perspective is a choice. The realisation that the way we see the world - that fundamental bedrock of all our decisions and interactions - is something we can change, is significant. We have a measure of influence over how we view each event and situation. The difficulty is being aware of that reality, and believing enough to enact that influence. This means that as we move through the human journey, we will continue to grasp for understanding and direction. We will utilise the terms and labels that we know. Disaster … success … hopeful … impossible. We will say these things to ourself, and we will say them to others. It is how we each communicate and comprehend. The potential here is to realise that our perspective controls these labels. You influence your perspective.
When we take responsibility for the task of labelling, we control the generation of perspective. Events can have different labels, situations can have multiple terms. While the perspective of every moment is influenced by internal and external factors, it is also up to us. If we can find a way to be aware and to be in every moment, then we have influence. Perspective is fluid - Perspective is built - Perspective includes a choice - You influence your perspective. As events of the new year unfold, remember opportunity exists everywhere, it is a choice of perspective. |
AuthorHigh school teacher Archives
September 2023
CategoriesThemes |