On the 12th of July in 2016 Dani and I had a bottle of wine and a lump of bufala mozzarella on a wall in Rome. We sat on the stones, still warm from the day, and kicked our toes out over the ancient buildings. We were in love, the past was laid out below us and that evening a future together was becoming clear.
Two years later on the 15th of July we went back there and got engaged. I had been thinking that the hill behind the forum in Rome would be a great place to ask Dani to marry me for a little while. To me it is a powerful place of looking down on the ruins, human stories and back into time which leads a person to thinking forward into their own life and story. I had decided that she was wonderful and hoped she thought I was too, my plan was set. We had arranged to take the new (9 months) baby to Europe to see some friends and family, I’d pitched a stop in Rome on the way home because Rome is amazing. Dani went for it, next I wanted a ring. We’d come across a cool Icelandic jeweller near our house and I worked with him to make something special, it was very exciting. A week before we left, Kristjan gave me the ring in a easily concealable small black velvet pouch tied with a red ribbon. I spent the first few weeks of the trip through Europe fretting that Dani would come across the ring while searching my bag for socks or something. We made it to Rome and it was time. I’d thought to recreate the same wall picnic type evening setting and propose then. I knew it had been a special time 2 years earlier and felt it spoke to our connection and commitment. All I had to do was manoeuvre Dani onto the Capitaline Hill lookout with the right collection of picnic snacks while keeping a 9 month old maniac comfortable and cool in the blasting July heat. I made a few gentle suggestions: “let’s do an explore around and then head up towards the forum”, “you know what might be nice, let’s get some bufala and olives from that place down near the Basilica San Clemente?”, “want to head up the hill and find a nice spot?” You know, real casual, but deliberate, suggestions. Dani was eating it up. While we were shopping for picnic supplies she was quite particular about what to get - I’d inceptioned her on the wall picnic recreation concept. As we were heading up the hill she was determined to pick the right spot - I congratulated myself on the genius person management. It was all going great, I had the baby, the snacks, the ring, my girl - loving it. Then we turned onto the lookout wall from 2 years earlier and it was crap. Good enough for two athletic wine drinkers on a warm night with stars in their eyes and no cares on the earth. But, completely inappropriate for a baby in the early evening: there were other tourists everywhere, the only way to enjoy the view was to sit on the very high stone wall, and it was a little bit grimy from the nearby road. I panicked. Part of my brain shouted - ‘do it now, then retreat to a better picnic place after’. This was a bad plan and thankfully Dani agreed to move. In fact, she suggested the alternate spot, which turned out to be perfect. It was around the other side of the hill and had pretty much the same view, a little stone bench, shade and a feeling of intimacy. Once again I was pleased with how well I’d secretly sold Dani on this whole mission. So we’re set up, there’s the cheese, the olives, the baby on my knee concealing the ring in my pocket. We talked and smiled, it was beautiful. I took the moment and sprang into what I hoped was a charming and heartfelt series of questions and statements which culminated in an invitation to marry me. She didn’t answer. Perhaps it wasn’t that charming? I said “I’ve got the ring here in my pocket under the baby, would you like to see?” Instead of talking Dani reached into her bag and pulled out a black pouch with a red ribbon. My mind buckled slightly in confusion; ‘she’s found the ring already! How is this possible? Isn’t it still in my pocket? That is exactly the same pouch.’ I started to shift the baby to reach into my pocket and work out what was happening. Dani held the small black bag and began to speak. She had a prepared invitation of her own. Rather than accepting my proposal, Dani offered a counter proposal to marry. She had her own feelings and intentions and wanted me to marry her. It turns out that the whole time I’d been manoeuvring Dani to the intended proposal spot, she’d been concurrently manoeuvring me. We’d managed to individually, and yet strangely collaboratively, internalise some kind of shared plan to ask each other to get married at the same time, in the same place. Connected. The incredible kicker, we discovered through a steam of tears and yes’s, was that Kristjan, the Icelandic jeweller from Leichhardt, had made both the rings. We'd independently come into his shop within a few days of each other. Its 4 years later and happy proposal/counter proposal week Dani. I love you and I’m very grateful we both asked and both said yes.
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AuthorHigh school teacher Archives
September 2023
CategoriesThemes |