Mistakes

Between me and the ward room door there is a new baby lying engulfed in fabric in the bassinet. I had wrapped her and placed her there half an hour before, then I collapsed on the bed. 

The door opened and our midwife’s voice landed in the room “It’s just me, how’s everyone going?” The voice was followed by the person, and I replied, “how do you like my first swaddle Elise?” referring to the three layers of fabric awkwardly folded around the tiny baby girl between us. 

“Aw cute,” she replied, and I knew I had a long way to go. 


Swaddling a baby isn’t necessarily hard, clearly as Elise crafted a tight, symmetrical and beautiful wrap using 2% of her attention, it is easy for an expert. Nor was the swaddle I had just crafted my first attempt, I’d performed thousands with my son 4 years earlier. Certainly though, on the first day of many swaddling days to come I was at the beginning of a learning curve. The same would be true for bathing, nappies, negotiation, bed time, drop offs and dinner. I was going to have to learn it all again. 

I think part of me was expecting to stroll into parenting with all the skills preloaded from my previous experience. I’m coming to see this isn’t always true, there is plenty to relearn, and this baby is actually different to the last baby. There is one key learning on my side this time though, I’m way less bothered by my mistakes. 

Doing the job for a second time doesn’t make me immune from poor decisions and skill error, but it does make me feel very confident that I’ll be able to learn from them. I suspect this positive relationship with mistake will be a big element of any success I have.  

I'm heading into a high mistake period. I know it, and it's going to be alright.